I shave my face with a lawn mower ciac.

When I speak a foreign language, I only use cognates ciac.

I cash in poker chips at coinstar ciac.

My car has five reverse gears too ciac.

I got shot TEN times ciac.

I drink Steel Reserve for the flavor ciac.

I drink REAL bloody mary's ciac.

I take whiskey to wine tastings ciac.

MS-DOS is my primary operating system ciac.

I hit seven outta six playing keno ciac.

I drink beer ditches ciac.

I attend funerals in my pjs ciac.

I put my keyboard through the dishwasher ciac

I do drive by shootings on my big wheel ciac.

I shotgun O'Doul's cause I'm a criminal.

I google Ask Jeeves ciac.

I hunt from my golf cart ciac

I take my mobile home camping ciac.

I burned books in kindergarten ciac. -john

I cut my own cord ciac.

My favorite position is missionary ciac.

I buy my condoms online ciac

I fuck with Wu Tang Clan ciac.

I use spare car parts for bling ciac.

I still listen to Savage Garden ciac.

I highly recommend Nickleback ciac.

I mosh at Enya shows ciac.

I have the operator on speed dial #9 ciac.

I murdered Chuck Norris ciac.

I drink and drive when I race Indy cars ciac.

Some from Joe D

I date girls who are 17 years and 364 days old ciac.
I'm glad NBC stuck with Leno ciac.

I iron my socks ciac.

I specify that my food is to-go in the drive-thru ciac. -Drew

I snipe people at point blank range ciac.

I use ten ply toilet paper ciac.

I jack off to Precious ciac. -Paige

I wear my birthday suit over top of my regular clothes ciac.

The devil sold his soul to me ciac.

I dress DOWN before going to the mall ciac.