I photoshopped my dick to look smaller ciac.

I break laws ciac.

I ask paper or plastic before intercourse ciac.

I counterfeit ones just to get by ciac.

I mismatched my prison socks and my jail socks ciac.

I think Sports Center is a parody ciac.

I steal non-alcoholic beer ciac.

I named all of my children after serial killers ciac.

I shoot to maim ciac. -dylan

I make all my booty calls at 11 a.m. ciac.

I shot Osama bin Laden in the face, gave him a bow tie and dumped his body in the ocean ciac.

I poop with the door open ciac.

My farts are chunky ciac.

Mary W.

I can speak braille ciac.

I drink to the power half-hour ciac.

When my boat hits icebergs THEY sink ciac.

I tailgate before the opera ciac.

I buy clothes at Saves to sell on ebay for a profit ciac.

I own the What Wouldn't Satan Do bracelet ciac.

I converted my boat into a car ciac. -deidre