I wear a life jacket in the bathtub ciac.

I call radio stations and request commercials ciac.

I can order pizza with my mind ciac.

I only text myself ciac. - blonde josh

I speed up before speed bumps ciac.

I use badgers instead of gerbils ciac.

I never share the road ciac.

I donate leftovers to the food bank ciac.

I get a sex change every couple of weeks ciac.

The best part about us is me ciac.

I ask homeless people for their autographs ciac.

I date rich old men purely for their good looks ciac.

I still use AOL ciac. -Drew

I do not respond to sexts ciac.

I have SkyMall sent to my house ciac.

I own every NOW compilation on vinyl ciac.

I yell out my own name during sex ciac. -Jake

I prostitute myself for free ciac.

I sunk my own battleship ciac.

I tell my neighbors i'm a registered sex offender for fun ciac.